Reminiscent of the beloved
novels by Mary Kubica and Jodi Picoult comes a chilling portrayal of a son’s
addiction and its harrowing effects on both him and his mother from New York Times bestselling author
Courtney Cole.
There comes a time when offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when you realize that it’ll never be enough.
The cold needle in his warm vein was a welcome comfort to my son at first. But then it became the monster that kept us apart.
Heroin lied, and my son believed. It took him to a world where the last year didn’t happen, to a place where his father was still alive. What Beck didn’t understand was that it couldn’t bring his father back from the dead. It couldn’t take away his pain, not permanently.
You think it can’t happen to you, that your kids, your family, will never be in this situation.
I thought that too. But you’re wrong.
Step into our world, and see for yourself.
Watch my golden boy become a slave to this raging epidemic. Watch me try and save him.
Drug addiction comes with a price.
Trust me, you’re not equipped to pay it.
Don’t miss this heartwrenching, evocative, yet hopeful novel—it will leave you forever changed.
There comes a time when offering your life for your child’s doesn’t work, when you realize that it’ll never be enough.
The cold needle in his warm vein was a welcome comfort to my son at first. But then it became the monster that kept us apart.
Heroin lied, and my son believed. It took him to a world where the last year didn’t happen, to a place where his father was still alive. What Beck didn’t understand was that it couldn’t bring his father back from the dead. It couldn’t take away his pain, not permanently.
You think it can’t happen to you, that your kids, your family, will never be in this situation.
I thought that too. But you’re wrong.
Step into our world, and see for yourself.
Watch my golden boy become a slave to this raging epidemic. Watch me try and save him.
Drug addiction comes with a price.
Trust me, you’re not equipped to pay it.
Don’t miss this heartwrenching, evocative, yet hopeful novel—it will leave you forever changed.
Review
If there was one important book that you read this year I
would have to recommend this one. When I signed up for the blog tour of this
book I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I saw that the author was Courtney
Cole and immediately jumped on the opportunity. Little did I know that this
book was going to be heartbreaking, beautiful, and above all else important.
“It’s a tranquil wolf’s den,
and I’m the mama wolf, and God help anyone who fucks with my pack. Except sometimes,
things are out of my control. Times like tonight, and every night prior for the
past one year, two months, and seven days. Yes, I know the exact moment our
lives changed. Who wouldn’t?”
Natalie has had the worst year of her life. Every worst possible
scenario has happened and I’m going to be straight with you, she does not handle
it well. But that is real life isn’t it? Not everyone can take tragedy in stride.
Not everyone can take a blow and carry on with their life. Not everyone can
look at death and wake up and keep their life going. Kids or no kids. Natalie
is human and that is where Courtney Cole really did an amazing job. Courtney
created a flawed HUMAN character. We all hope that when we look tragedy in the
face we will be strong, strong for the people around us, and strong for ourselves.
What happens when you aren’t that person? What happens when there are real hard
consequences for your actions? Natalie finds out. Courtney Cole created a mom
that is real, she created a character that at one moment we feel for and the
next we are mad at. This is life and Courtney showed us the hard part of it.
“Is that what dying is like? A
descent into peacefulness? I can’t say that would be a bad thing.”
I went into this book thinking it was Natalie’s story and I
was wrong. This book is about Beck. It’s about his journey and the choices that
he makes. Beck was the son that every mom dreams of. He gets good grades, he’s
popular, and has great plans for his future. That all changes when tragedy strikes
his family and he must step up and take care of the family Natalie’s depression
is making her leave behind. The resentment builds and before we know it Beck is
giving up everything he once cared about. Giving it all up the chase the next
high. The next high that is going to numb the pain. Beck’s character is a
complicated one. His chapters are definitely hard to read. Courtney Cole gives
us an inside look into the ugliness of addiction. Beck shows us how much of your
life, soul, and body you give over to your addictions.
“Most of the time, people don’t
start out wanting to use hard drugs. They slip into it, like a whisper that
turns into a roar.”
The above quote is from the author’s note at the end of the
book. The author’s note is just as important as the book. I don’t usually read
the author’s note but this time I felt like I needed to. Courtney Cole has her
own experience with addiction in her family and you can tell. Courtney’s
writing is fluid, heart wrenching, and real. You can feel a piece of her soul in
this book, it comes out with every line you read. The only thing I didn’t
really like was the faith in this book but that is just my own personal choice.
I was able to read it because Courtney presented it in a way that shows you
this is how some people grieve. While I don’t personally believe in anything it
was heartbreaking reading Natalie beg and plead with God for her son. It was believable.
I loved the way this book was written. We got POV’s from both Beck and Natalie
and we saw before, during, and after the drug addiction. I really enjoyed this
book and hope that the people who read this book and have gone through a family
members addiction or their own really connects with this book and knows that they
are not alone.
Make sure to check out an excerpt of this review!!
Grab
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Excerpt
The nurse grasps my arm, and I can’t stand anymore. My legs
are tired and the adrenaline… it numbs me. I collapse beside her and she tries
to hold me up, but she can’t… I’m on the ground.
My face is wet, when did I start crying?
“You have to save my son,” I beg her, my fingers curled into
her arm. I stare into her eyes. Hers are green, ringed with blue, and she looks
away. Something about her seems so familiar, something about those eyes.
“We’ll try, ma’am,” she says uncertainly. It’s the
uncertainty that kills me. “We’ll do everything we can. I’m going to take you
to a quiet room, and give you a blanket. Is there anyone I can call for you?”
I shake my head. “No. I already called my sister.”
“Okay,” the nurse says quietly and her name tag says
Jessica. She takes me to a waiting room, a quiet private one, the ones they use
when the outcome might not be good. I know that because I’ve been here before.
I swallow hard and she puts a cup of coffee in my hand.
As she does, she pushes a stray hair out of her face and her
bracelet catches my eye. A simple chain with a silver dolphin on it. I’ve seen
it before.
“You were here the night my husband was brought in,” I
realize slowly. “Weren’t you? Do you remember me?”
It was a year ago. A year, two months… I check my watch… six
days and twenty-two hours ago. Of course she doesn’t remember me.
But Jessica nods.
“I’m so sorry about your husband,” she tells me now, her
voice quiet and thick. “I swear to you, we did everything we could.”
“I know,” I tell her. Because I do. The accident was so bad,
there’s no way anyone could’ve survived.
Except for Beck. He lived. But Matt...his
injuries were insurmountable. That’s what the doctor told me that night.
